The Inward Journey

Yoga as the path to Life

Hello and Welcome to Spiritsong Integrative Yoga! My name is CindyLou and I am so excited about this journey together. I feel like most of us can relate to starting a new practice, whether it's a yoga practice, learning to play a musical instrument or starting a new habit. Whatever the modality, when we start something new it can feel awkward and maybe even a little messy. We feel vulnerable, exposed and a little out of sorts. Yet if we can stay with the feeling of wanting to reach the outcome then we persevere, we stay the course and we practice. Each time we come to the mat, pick up the instrument or repeat the new habit it becomes more familiar, a little easier and maybe even a little more graceful.

Starting a New Practice

I've never blogged before and I certainly have never been this outward with my inner thoughts. Talk about feeling vulnerable! Yet over the years of participating in ceremony and facilitating groups I have learned that even though what comes up for me may not seem like much for the group (or that's what I'm telling myself in my head!) there's almost always someone who can relate to what I have to share. And more times than not I am surprised by how many say thanks for opening the door! It was like my speaking gave them the permission they needed to share what was opening up in them or what I said provided some missing link they needed to complete their experience.

I feel like there are more people out there besides me who are navigating their way through all the twists and turns that Life has been tossing out lately and for me, yoga has been my saving grace. If I didn't have at least some small connection to something greater than myself I don't know that I would have gotten through some of the tangles and webs that I found myself in these last few years. When to stop and listen to my body, give myself space to just breathe and hold compassion for myself, these were all tools I learned from my yoga practice that came into play to get me through each day. When the teacher says to take the practice off the mat and into the world, I came to realize, this is what they mean.

Deepening the Practice

When I first started my yoga practice I had very little knowledge of all the ways that this journey would unfold in my life over the years (approaching 3 decades!). I went to my first yoga class with the idea that I would get a good workout and stretch at the same time. I had a small inkling that there was more to it than that but, oh boy, I had no idea! By my third or fourth yoga class I found myself either crying on the mat or shortly there after. I attributed this to weakness, my inability to keep up with the others in class and would push myself even harder in the next class. But my attendance was sporadic at best and so it was several years later, and participating in a more dedicated practice, that I learned to connect the dots.

I became dedicated to a practice when I had a baby. It was my way to get out of the house and away from the nursing child and take a few hours for myself, which came highly recommended by mothers before me. By this point I had come to understand there was a deeper connection happening during a yoga practice and wanted to get to that calm, peaceful feeling that seemed to halo my yoga instructor at that time. Through proper guidance of pranayama (breath) and asana (postures) I began to link the dots and weave together an inner path that eventually lead me back to my long abandoned heart. And I wasn't always a pretty sight! There was weeping, raging and snotty nose messiness but all the while I was reassured that this was my body releasing years of undigested trauma from my past. I'd be ok, just breathe through it and accept what I'm feeling rather than fight or deny it (which I was really good at).

Yoga As A Path To Life

And so began my inward journey back to my heart, back to the essence of who I am. I began to live yoga. Sometimes the asana part of my practice went away and became a practice of compassion for the people in my life, acceptance for what was happening in my life and letting go of all the doing and spending more time being in my life. I began to be my life rather than do my life. I began to see how each day is an opportunity to practice. Practice patience, kindness and acceptance not only towards others but also towards myself. Some days I feel the flow of grace, others I'm trudging around in the self-induced muck. That's why it's called a practice

Giving Back

This brings me back around to why I'm starting this new practice of blogging (is that even a verb?!). As I travel this path, this inner journey towards mySelf, my Spirit, I have discovered a few things along the way. I believe that even if it seems like rambling to me, maybe, just maybe, someone out there might relate to or find solace in something I have to share. It is another practice to give back what one has grown to live and learn. It's all a practice in the grand play of Life. Some posts may be stories, some maybe sharing wisdom or knowledge. There may be poetry or reflection questions. Whatever arises to be written, I hope you'll join me in the practice.

Please leave a comment if you have a topic you'd like to discuss or questions. I'll be honest, I don't know a lot of answers but I love to discuss and discover what answers lie out there, or better, what answers lie within.